More lore about dating has passed from woman to woman and man to man than probably any other human endeavor, all in an attempt to help one sex figure out what the other is thinking or likely to do.
Now Maxim.com and Tango magazine have teamed to sort out some dating fictions from facts. From wanting to date the reincarnation of your parents to being friends with an ex, Tango magazine and Maxim.com researched a variety of dating conceptions singles hold near and dear. Yahoo! Personals also asked its members to chime in. Here's what we've found:
1. Men and women can be "just friends"
Marnie Hanel of Tango magazine says, "Sure, men and women can be friends -- as long as the dynamic falls into one of four categories: 1) the friends explore their, ahem, benefits -- and realize that they like each other better with their clothes on; 2) one of the parties is gay; 3) there are significant others involved and romantic -- and sexual -- needs are taken care of at home; 4) you’re just not that into each other -- in that way."
Jordan Burchette of Maxim.com agrees, "as long as they're from your kindergarten class, an ex, or are gay. It also helps if they're 'majorly unattracted' to each other. Tall order? Umm, yes," he says, "but we’re convinced that if they don’t fit in one of those categories, they’ll be double dipping their chip in no time."
The Yahoo! Personals poll found this to be the most popular dating myth -- 22 percent of participants chose it over seven other myths.
2. Men don't express feelings in front of their friends
"Men are people too," says Tango's Hanel, "so while they may not outline every dirty detail of their emotions, they will dish -- in their own way -- with their close guy friends." She says there may be no tears, Cosmopolitans, or Ben and Jerry’s, but a couple of beers, a game of pool, or a good quarter of football can have an equally soothing effect on a distraught dude.
"With rare exceptions," Maxim.com's Burchette says, "we fully believe men make a conscience decision to not express their feelings in front of their friends." Some men, he says, especially those from the Midwest, pride themselves on never having cried in front of anyone -- ever. Do women like these cyborgs? To tell the truth, Burchette says, we don't think they mind it. "It's better not to cry then have to break out a box of lotioned Kleenex, so watch out sissy boy!"
3. Women take longer to get ready than men
Tango's Hanel says, "Of course we do. If you had 35 pairs of shoes and 17 varieties of lip liner to choose from, you’d be tardy too. Although living in a post-metrosexual world has given us men who moisturize regularly, spend $100 on a haircut and who can be found gazing in the mirror at five minutes past their dinner reservation."
Burchette of Maxim.com disagrees, "Even though women take forever to get ready (they have way more area per square inch to shave), men are the ones who are always late. Does this ring a bell? 'Honey, I'm finnne. It'll take me five minutes to get ready -- promise.' Never happens. Whether we’re busy manscaping our facial hair or trying to find a special shirt she loves is we’re always running a little behind."
Among Yahoo! Personals poll takers, 16 percent chose this as their favorite myth.
4. Men/women can be friends with their ex
Tango's Hanel says that for both men and women, it's a classic case of dumper vs. dumpee. "Those who initiate breakups are decidedly more enthusiastic about inviting their exes over for dinner parties and meeting up for picnics in the park," she says. "The ones who are rejected are left with bruised egos, old love letters, and mutilated photos (why does it feel so good to cut his head out of every shot from your Puerto Rican vacation?)."
"Maintaining a friendship with the ex is easier than it sounds," says Burchette of Maxim.com, "especially if you're the one who did the dumping. After all, you broke up with them for a reason, right? And if it was because they're bad in bed, then you might have the bestest friend ever made! If you got a K-fed-style text message, kicking your butt to the curb, then being buds probably isn’t in the foreseeable future."
The Yahoo! Personals poll had 13 percent who picked this as their favorite myth.
5. Women forgive, not forget; men forget, not forgive
"We have two words for you: Lorena Bobbit," says Tango's Hanel. "Make no mistake: women neither forgive nor forget. Men, on the other hand, will often let bygones be bygones -- especially if they’re offered payback of the intimate variety."
Burchette of Maxim.com says, "Men's inability to remember birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or grudges has yet to be scientifically proven, but trust us, it's a very real and scary disease. That said we are prone to still being angry five months later, though we have no recollection of why we’re so mad in the first place."
The Yahoo! Personals poll had 13 percent who picked this as their favorite myth.
Want to check out more dating myths? See the reports at Maxim.com and Tangomag.com.
Just tea for two and two for tea
